Relationships - A Helping Hand
Dear Dating Dilemma:
"I've been in a relationship now for a year and my boyfriend has 'friends that happen to be girls.' He says that I'm just insecure because all these female relationships are platonic and that just because they are women, they shouldn't be considered a threat. He even has friends online. Do you think he's involved in virtual relationships? For all I know, he has long distance relationships! I need your advice on relationships because my relationships don't seem to go very well. I'm not insecure but I do feel neglected and wonder why I'm not enough 'woman' for him. I mean, my dad never had female friends out of respect for my mother. Does my boyfriend disrespect me or is he playing around or is he some enlightened being that's above all the petty human stuff?"
'Confused but secure'
Dear 'Confused but Secure':
This kind of situation is always tricky. Relationships can be hard to foster when there are other relationships or online relationships in the mix... You should calmly communicate with your boyfriend and try and reason with him. Explain that you don't have boyfriends and that you're not naive. It is possible that his relationships can cross other boundaries (a kiss on the lips, long hugs, emotional affairs, holding hands, etc..). If your boyfriend doesn't change to the point that you feel comfortable, then you may not be compatible. If you're not happy then you need to take charge and clearly state what is acceptable and what is not. If he refuses, then break up with him. At that point it would become clear that he's more interested in caring for himself than caring for you! Love is a two-way street and the two of you might just be heading in opposite directions.
The Dating Team
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